Venting about my horrible sleep TW self harm

I'm 19 and have an undiagnosed headache for 2 months every single day.

The pain has really destroyed my sleep. I lie in bed waiting for it to go away, pass out from exhaustion at 6am, and wake up at 4pm. Thats my sleep schedule. its horrible.

I live with my older sister and her boyfriend. They took me in from my abusive dad's house when my health declined. I appreciate them so much but I can't help but feel like a burden for not contributing anything due to my pain.

Today they told me how much my messed up schedule was bothering them and that if I didn't fix it soon they'd kick me out.

This made me so afraid and I began to panic. In my sleep deprived panicked state I unfortunately relapsed. I was 6 months clean.

I feel so disappointed. I wish I had normal sleep, I want to fix it so bad. its so difficult due to the pain. everything is just so exhausting.