my beautiful baby boy

i lost my gsd in january. i can’t get over it. every time i think about it i my heart shatters , i believe it was bloat based on my research. it happened at 3 am. i was with him during his last moments. it hurts me knowing he was in pain during his seizure. he let out a horrible sound which is what woke me up. i cry every time i think about how much it must’ve hurt him. he was my everything. i hope he felt my presence, it all happened so fast. his face just had a blank stare. i just wish he would come back. i think about all the moments we had together, what i could’ve or should have done. i loved him so much i hope i see him again in heaven. he was supposed to turn 12 this year. i could go on but i just can’t believe it still happened.