How to deal with other's good news/celebrations?

Now that I’m 6 months into this hell, the shock has worn off, people have moved on, and people are living life.

I’m young, and I know multiple people getting married this year, including being in the bridal party for one of them. There will be bridal showers, bachelorettes, wedding events, etc.

And now a close friend announced their first baby is coming soon. There’s going to be baby showers, etc of course too.

Everyone is happy and living life, achieving big milestones, etc.

And of course I'm happy for all of them. I really am - but I'm sure you all understand the duality of what I'm feeling.

The slap in the face all of these events are. It wasn't long ago I was celebrating all of the wedding related events for myself and my husband. How am I supposed to go to all of these events and NOT think of him? How can I present as happy when I feel like I'm just going to want to crawl into a massive black hole?

And the kid one... it just feels like a slap in the face that my husband and I never got to have kids and now never will. We wanted them. We just... never had the chance.

If I'm honest, I'm having a hard time not just feeling jealous/angry/heartbroken whenever I'm reminded about any of these things.... and I'm just not sure how to deal with that. It feels so ugly and like I'm a bad person for feeling these things in the face of my friend's (who I love dearly) happiness. I don't know :(