Dating is impossible. Also I am so confused. (WARNING A RANT)

I'm still not sure if im aegosexual. I've never had sex and every time the opportunity comes up I sort of get nervous and although I can be aroused in the moment, I never intentionally progressed the situation. But porn, or fictional sex in various forms does turn me on. Everything is so confusing and on top of that I only ever crush on someone maybe 3 times in the last decade - yet continually dating people short term just because I am afraid of ending up alone in this life, which fizzles out because I end up not being into them. So I don't even have enough of a sample size because I barely ever find people attractive. Yet random people that I see passing by on the street can make me flustered yet I wouldn't even want to date them. What is wrong with me lol. Honestly this is messing with my head. I really like the idea of being in love and even the idea of starting a family but... that all seems to be not only impossible but maybe I actually only like the idea of it.