New resource: What to do when the poly police show up in your thread.

Some of you may have seen the unicorns-r-us-is-bullshit.com site that went up recently. The response has been incredible -- I've even started seeing it linked in the wild, which honestly still blows my mind.

The main page tackles the website itself and why its framing is a problem. But there was a pattern that kept coming up in feedback and conversations that the main page didn't fully address: what happens AFTER someone links you that site. The part where someone shows up in your thread with "reasonable questions" that aren't really questions. The part where you answer honestly and your answer gets reframed into something you didn't say. The part where they walk you through a script that was never going to end with "okay, sounds like you've thought about this."

So I built a page for that.

The Poly Police Just Showed Up: https://unicorns-r-us-is-bullshit.com/poly-police

Here's what it covers:

• How to recognize when someone is genuinely curious versus running you through a cross-examination
• The actual hard questions about power dynamics, autonomy, and fairness -- answered head-on, not dodged
• Practical advice for both sides: how to respond if you're being questioned, and how to check yourself if you're the one asking
• Why the exhaustion on both sides is real and what it turns into when left unchecked

This page is written for both sides of the conversation. If you've been grilled about your triad by someone who wasn't actually listening, there's a section for you. If you've been the one asking hard questions and someone thinks you need to read this -- there's a section for you too.

I'm not interested in building an echo chamber. The hard questions about triads deserve real answers, and I tried to give them. But the twenty-question gauntlet that happens in online spaces helps nobody, and I'm tired of watching people get shamed out of conversations they came to in good faith.

As always, I'd love feedback. Does anything feel off? Did I miss a question that always comes up? Does the tone land?

This community has been quieter than others in the broader discourse, and I think that's partly because a lot of you found your way into triads without ever needing the poly community's permission. But your perspective matters, and your experiences are part of what makes resources like this possible. ♥️♥️♥️