I need advices pls

Hey I'm looking for advice, opinions, or personal experiences.

I realized I had a problem with food in January, after purging for the first time. It was kind of a shock, because dieting is "normal" (or at least socially acceptable) but vomiting after eating ice cream is clearly abnormal.

It happened maybe 10 times, thankfully not too often. Mainly because I completely cut out my trigger foods, all the things I could overindulge in.

So, I recently reassessed my eating habits, and the result isn't great. I've been dieting for over a year and I've lost weight (I gained half of it back in January because of a broken ankle, but I've lost it again since).

There are some "basic" foods I can no longer eat (at least not without feeling guilty or compensating whether it's by fasting, exercising or recently purging), like pasta, bread, rice, cookies, ice cream, even just some soy yogurt I like too much.

I used to walk 20k to 30k steps a day, then I was hit by a car in December and couldn't walk that much anymore. I still went out with my crutches to walk for hours despite the blisters on my palms, or I did seated HIIT workouts. Now, my ankle is healing, but even with a limp, I have to reach my step goal.

I think it's important to mention that I'm autistic, so I tend to set rules, to set routines.

Currently, I eat tomatoes/grapes and drink diet soda throughout the day. Then I have the same low cal meal and yogurt every evening. I sometimes allow myself a cereal bar or dark chocolate, but it has to stay within my daily calorie limit. I also have a kind of rigid routine about exercise, I have to spend at least an hour on the treadmill, walking for a certain amount of time at each speed, from 3.5 to 9 km/h.

I don't know if this qualifies as anorexia per se, but I know it's not really healthy and that I'm "suffering" because of it. All my energy is devoted to thinking, planning, tracking, counting, and calculating about food and calories. I have no motivation, no energy left for social relationships, my studies, housework, clothes, or even just showering. I'm tired honestly. But I can't change my clothes. The weight gain from my injury made me miserable. I abused my meds, I even stopped opening the blinds for light and getting out of bed, except to exercise. Now that I've lost the weight again, I'm managing better, but I know it's not sustainable.

And since I'm not that thin, and since when I see my family (like once a month) I eat normally, or even overeat, and end up being the one who eats the most, if I talk about it, people will laugh in my face. I also don't want anyone interfering with what I can eat or forcing me.

I don't know what to do, so please share your thoughts, opinions, experiences, and advice. Thank you for reading, and take care.