I think it’s over

I thought things were going as well as they could. I still have bad days here and there but not as much about 6 months out. I bring it up and try to talk to him when I do. But he thinks I should be over it by now and I’m not. It’s too soon. It still feels fresh. Some days the pain is minimal, other days it’s as intense as day 1. He can’t handle me talking about it anymore. And I can’t keep it in. I’m devastated. He’s avoidant and has shut me out. I can’t chase him anymore and I know he won’t chase me. He never has. I’m not an ambitious person. All I’ve ever wanted in life is to be happy. I didn’t know how my life would look or what I would do with it. I just wanted to be happy. And I’m not. There’s happy moments. I was happy before all this. But now I’m not. That’s not how I wanted my life to be. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. It didn’t have to be like this. Something was done to me and now I have to live with the fall out. I just want to sleep and wake up when everything’s ok. But it won’t be for a long time.