Is there a way forward?

I found out about my WH’s affair just before new years. I was wanting to reconcile. We’ve been in MC and IC. Our last MC session a little over a week ago was even really good and we were in a really good place. We still are in separate bedrooms and nothing physical. But I’m struggling to see a way forward.

What’s making it hard is that a few days after D-day, my grandpa - who is my favorite person in the entire world - got really sick and ended up in the hospital. He ultimately went home on hospice and passed away this week. On top of the grief of losing the best person I’ve ever known, I have been so angry through all of this that I couldn’t focus on my grandpa and my family because my marriage was in crumbles. But what really is making me struggle is that in his last weeks, knowing his life was coming to an end, I asked my grandpa multiple times the secret to his marriage of 66 years and how he handled it and any tips, etc. (For backstory, my grandpa is the kindest man and my grandma is much different, a very sassy, opinionated woman who has gotten grumpy with age. She’s a difficult woman to be around.) He had nothing to say except that she was the best wife ever, the best thing that happened to him was meeting her, and he loved her more than anything. I want that kind of love. I thought I had that kind of love until D-day. I don’t know if I can move on. Am I crazy?