Hello I'm a Muslim revert and horrified for the events leading up to Judgement Day

Am I supposed to look forward to the the events leading up to Judgement Day? That seems to be the general consensus. I want to see Jesus return but I really don't want to see the Dajjal.

Everything lately has just been looking like it's leading up to the final hour and I know every single generation ever has believed that they were to face the final hour, but you know I can't get rid of this fear and honestly it's hard to not see our generation as facing the most signs.

I kinda hoped I could live out my life do all the things I want to do and then die before the final hour, it sounds horrible, Dajjal, the killing, all of it, I don't want to go through that even though I'm under the impression I should be welcoming it with open arms.

Am I supposed to be glad? I know it's bad of me because I'm supposed to trust God's plan and my faith but it's hard, I'm still new to this, and it sounds frankly horrifying