r/Advice•
val887

Is this an okay break up text???

okay so for some context I've been with this guy for 5 months. I'm F18 and he's M17 (almost 18 I'm 4 months older). His sense of humour with his friends is gross to me. it's racist, sexist all that kinda stuff. I should have broken up with him sooner I really should have. The reason I didn't was mainly because his family were so nice and welcoming to me I feel mainly bad for them. anyways on Saturday I found out one of his best friends is a full on racist. not a joke but actually racist. his family and his girlfriend are too straight up white supremacists apparently. The fact he keeps this guy as a friend and likes these weird racist reels the guy sends to him really kinda showed me the guy I'm dating. I mean what am I doing??? Other than this he's a really sweet guy who really loves me but yeah I can't justify staying with somebody who has a racist bestfriend.Anyways is this breakup message okay???

(guys name) I'm really sorry but I've been thinking this for a while and I think we should break up. I'm really sorry to do this over text because that feels so ungenuine and unfair. But I thought it was better than dragging this out until next week. The reason I'm breaking up with you might seem like an over reaction but it's just something I can't get over. I'm really uncomfortable with the fact that you say the n word and your friend being actually racist was really shocking to me. This has always kinda been at the back of my mind for a while. I mean I know you and your friends have a different sense of humor and you have a right to that, even though for me I've never really been comfortable with it I knew it was a joke and it was between your friends. but on Saturday I honestly was really disappointed, and all these thoughts that I've been having in the back of my mind came to light. It freaks me out and I genuinely don't feel like I can be with you anymore. I mean all those reels, you were liking them which kinda implies to me you agree with them. Even the thing you said after yknow some people are just racist and that I shouldn't think about it. But I can't help but think about it. Some comments you say, the fact foid is in your vocabulary also things like that. i've been trying to ignore it because I love you but it's wrong to me, and the more I think about it the more it affects my feelings towards you. I just can't really look at you the same. This really is just a deal breaker for me and I can't justify staying with you out of my own principles. I don't think I can move forward with you without this being in the back of my mind. So I think it's only right we break up. I'm really sorry.

I'm worried it sounds like I'm attacking him or being too sensitive or something. So please let me know any improvements I could make if there is any!!!

Posted Mar 1, 2026, 1:53 AM UTC

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