Where are your limits?

When you have someone in your life with bipolar, how do you know where to draw the line?

So much of what I’ve been reading on the internet pushes a narrative of accommodation. They’re going to do what they’re going to do and you either learn to live with it and take care of yourself AND them, or you don’t have that person in your life. If they need space, you give it. If they lash out, you don’t take it personally. If they need reassurance, you provide them with that. You take whatever they have to offer at any given moment and just be grateful they’re there. “You get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit” kind of mentality. Maybe I’m just reading the wrong stuff, but this seems to be the general sentiment.

I have seen very little conversation about honoring personal needs and holding people with bipolar to a higher standard. I recognize that they have to be in a certain mental space to be receptive to constructive feedback about their behavior (medication is obviously required for this), but when they’re ready for hard conversations about the impacts of their actions, how real are you with them? If you legitimately haven’t done anything wrong and they lashed out at you for a perceived misstep, do you apologize?

The attitude of not challenging them and advocating for your needs to keep the peace just feels like a clearly paved road for relational abuse. Please let me know your thoughts!