Just Venting about not understanding clues

My best friend and I have had this problem before where he tries to hint that he doesn’t me to do or say something, but I don’t realise it. I take things pretty literally, so unless someone clearly tells me “please don’t do this,” I usually assume everything is fine.

In the past, this led to me doing something that annoyed his wife, and then he would be upset with me for days or weeks. Those periods were horrible for me because I care a lot about this friendship, and when he pulls away it completely messes with my head and I can’t focus on anything else. I've asked before that he could just tell me directly 'Don't do/say this'.

This hadn’t happened for almost two years, so I thought we were past it. But apparently last week he hinted again that I shouldn’t do something, and I didn’t understand. I’ve told him before that hints don’t really work for me and that I need people to be direct, because phrases like “you don’t have to” sound to me like someone is just being polite, not telling me to stop.

Now his wife is annoyed as I’m “too intense” and “trying too hard to be helpful” and that she doesn’t want me close anymore. I feel sick about it. I did my best. I really did. I just wanted to help.

I think he’s angry with me again and I’m terrified this is going to turn into another period where he’s distant or upset for weeks. Or...even just not care about me anymore.

I genuinely don’t understand what I’m supposed to do differently if I don’t realise I’m missing a hint in the first place. I hate this.