48 hrs CT first time in 3 months

Just hit 48 hours. Gotten 24 hrs many times but always relapsed.

I’ve been stuck in an 18 gpd cycle. It’s cheap, no one knows I’m high, and it makes the workday go by quickly. I work in an office by myself and can do meetings and paperwork easily at that dose. Without it, it’s a grind.

I have to quit because I’m too dependent on it. I’ve got some overseas trips coming up, so I’d rather take the pain now.

I feel pretty crappy, no sleep at all last night. Gabapentin didn’t help. Somehow I’ve got to grind it out. The quits are getting harder.