Not able to open up to people

I got my diagnosis at 19 and I am 26(NB). In the past I was heavily reliant on my fp, therapist, family, friends, etc about when I was struggling. Over time things have improved but I still feel like shit most of the time. I am just better at coping. I stopped sharing my problems with people and it has significantly improved the quality of my relationships. I know it is extreme to go from overreliance to bottling up my feelings. But I am trying my best to not be a burden on people.

The main reason why I stopped sharing with people when I was having breakdowns was that they felt like I was dumping on them, asking too much emotional labour, crossing boundaries, etc,and they have said this to me directly. Last night in a moment of weakness I called a friend who I've known for almost a decade, in the moment he was supportive but this morning he sent a text saying dont call me at 2 am it's crossing my boundaries.

I'm feeling really confused about what to do. This kind of incident always reinforces the belief that I'm a burden and I'm a freak for having these emotions. I have started feeling like SH/ST after a really long time. Any advice is helpful