I strongly DISLIKE my 'friends'

Harleen never liked me, everyone in the friend group knows but not the reason why. I've always tried to get her to like me but I just gave up because shes just so mean to everyone. I mean I get that shes joking sometimes but she really made the friend group more and more toxic in a way. The only thing they joke about now is insult on each other and other people, some don't sound like jokes at all. My best friend in the friend group left the school early this year, she felt the same as well and now the friend group is just me, Harleen and two other girls.

Harleen makes it very clear she doesn't like me and very quickly, I found myself unable to join conversations because it was always something personal or something the two other girls can know but I can't. I have other friends I can hang out with during recess and lunch but I still find myself as just a friend that casually comes somedays. I think I do this because I don't think I can stop hanging out with Harleen and them as I don't want to make it obvious just yet because Harleen hates on anyone she can.

Its also hard for me because one of the other girls in our friend group always walks with me to the bus because she doesn't like being seen walking alone. Everyday, we walk from the bus turn around to school and once we are at our lockers, she looks for Harleen and other friends. If their there then she leaves me immediantly, if not, she sticks to me like glue. This may sound like normal but she uses me for everything. Last year my locker was closer to her crush and the only time she would actually wait for me when I ask her to wait for me to get out my lunch is when her crush is there. She really anoys me because I know many days when theres tension between us or something has happened, she always comes back like nothing happened, like she wasn't just completely okay with Harleen telling me 'Sorry, I need to tell the other girls something in private' at lunch. This happens maybe like every 2 or 3 days? Another exuse they use is 'Sorry, we have the musical meeting' (like school play meeting/rehersal at lunch) when I know that Harleen doesn't do the musical and only people who do the musical ( the two other girls ) can go. I even see them walking around the school. Its funny because they think I'm socially stuipid and I know that they can't fully detach from me especially when one of the girls need me to walk her to and from the lockers to the bus.

I remember calling them out saying it's not very nice when they were making fun of others but ofc they are just joking. I hate how they continuously joke about this stuff and also how immature they actually are despite whatever they say to themself. Literally in yr 9, stop saying innappropriate things and treating teachers with disrespect.

I wish I had the courage to sit by myself at lunch and just do my homework but I can't. I'd hate for everyone to see that and there isn't really spot for that at lunch. I always made sure I looked like I had so many friends after my best friend left. Like saying goodbye to every person I talked to in a day as they walked by my locker and they would say it back one after another. I hate that I'm going to post this but whatever. I'm sure I won't see these people after I'm finished school.

Harleen is a bitch and I just have to act dumb like this. I hope she knows that one day she will meet someone just like herself.

I am so sorry to anyone who is reading my rushed and bad rant. Its 1:30 am for me. I hope everyone has a great day!!