Did I develop attachment ?

So I was ambitious as kid and I had made my mind I want to leave home and get a job away from home and I literally fixated and made decision that make it happen, I am an AI Engineer finding job and got opportunity through my close friends referral.

I had been staying with my family for almost 6 month unemployed after 4 year of engineering in other state. I had everything decided and made my mind but past few month was to emotional and vulnerable , my familylife was full of ups and down and never spent time together as family bht now everythinghad been startedto settles ,I got time to think and I realized I made decision that led me to this point of no return that I have closed all doors back to home since in my state there are no job opportunity for me.

Even as I travel to interview I feel hollow , empty and so sad I could cry but holding tears.

Why did the ambition I had so many years started to evaporate when it was about to be achieved? Why I feel so vulnerable and weak inside.?