2 months into the divorce

I still come here, even though it's over with my wife. After 6 years and a boy in school now. For most of our relationship I thought we would stay together for the long haul. I imagined us growing old together. Reading through posts on here helps me process. The grief is like mourning a death. I have so much free time now. So much empty space. I still wake up in the middle of the night, trained to let the dog out that's no longer here. I smoke endless cigarettes. But otherwise I'm trying to find myself again. I don't know how to navigate this. But I'm focused on getting more time with him. It's hard to answer his questions when we do get time together. It's hard to protect him from the fallout. Hell, it's hard to protect myself. Our lives are completely changed. I have to be there for him. My dad wasn't there for me.