Friends are excited to consider me neurodivergent like they are but get awkward when I talk about gender dysphoria

Niche title but it happened to me with two friends separately. :( Not sure if I’m making a big deal out of it, but I feel… sad.

A few of my friends are in a stage of their lives where they discover they’re autistic or have ADHD. I’m at my stage of my life where I discover I’m dysphoric about my gender.

I wouldn’t be surprised to have mild ADHD as severe ADHD runs in my family, but it’s not as disruptive to my life compared to my friends’ neurodivergence. It doesn’t take up much space in my head; I just manage around it.

But it doesn’t really matter to them; they’re happy to joke about it with me. I say something like “I get distracted easily” and it becomes this thing with them about how “hahah just another ADHD trait!” or how neurotypical people don’t understand a certain experience like we do, although I don’t… really relate to that. I don’t think of myself as neurodivergent or not neurotypical? They’re excited to bring me into what feels like an in group with them though.

And that’s fine. I ask them what they want to to do about it, how they want to deal with it. I ask them about whether they want a diagnosis or if they want meds. These questions came from me googling ADHD and autism symptoms and support; it’s not hard. I show an interest and I don’t back away from conversations about it because I can see it’s important to them.

Now when I talk about my dysphoria they get real awkward. The conversations die. I talk about my hip dysphoria and they go quiet real quick. I consider a diagnosis or HRT and they don’t ask any follow up questions, don’t express interest or they change the topic.

It feels like we’re allowed to share in their experience of neurodivergence or some identity they have discovered about themselves but I’m not allowed to share mine. Fuck man I didn’t even want to consider being trans as part of my identity; dysphoria hurts. Transphobia frightens me. But both simply exist for me.

I feel alienated I guess I’m not asking them to understand me and I’m not projecting my gender issues on them but it so hard to… show an interest in me?