Help- is it irrational to be upset with husbands travel schedule? 2 toddlers under 3 at home...

I have been struggling with my husbands travel schedule (for work) since we had kids (2.5 and 14 months).

There are seasons (3-6 months) where he will need to be on the road Sunday midday through Friday midday every other week, and other times of the year its traveling 0-1 times a month. These seasons are unpredictable- like he doesn't know what the next trip is until he on the current trip, and doesn't know how long each season of travel will last (often a predicted 2-3 month project will go longer).

I am struggling so hard with this, and have been since he took the job, but it's harder with the kids. I was a SAHM for 2 years with my oldest and one with my youngest- each time putting them in daycare because I just couldn't handle the load.

We both make good money (I work full time too- but it's seasonal nights and weekends (photographer)). I struggled with PPD and am doing therapy.

I am finding it so hard to connect with him when he comes home because the chaos of the kids makes it impossible to have a conversation until bedtime and then we are exhausted. We do date nights but that takes away from our limited family time too. I feel like a single parent half the time and I'm so tired of the constant struggle.

Summer is coming up and so many family obligations are added to the calendar, between that and my work our weekends are almost completely planned through August, and all of that mental load is on me. The mental load of planning and scheduling and letting people down when we can't go, mental load of date nights and our sex life, my work schedule and not going overboard (side note also limiting my career/income because I don't know when he will be home)

has anyone been in this situation and does it get easier when the kids are older? What do we do here?

ps- he is open to other jobs, but the tech field is tight right now. I'm grateful we have good incomes, it's not really a money thing. It is struggling to juggle kids, travel, family obligations, both jobs and marriage