Should I file for divorce

Should I leave my spouse of 10 years or give him chance? We had a 8 yo child. I found out he emotionally cheated on me - though not a full blown one. But I still felt betrayed and insecure in this r/s. I decided to stay for our child. He seems remorseful, he apologized and admitted his closeness with her had hurt me (though he insisted he only treated her as friend, no romance feelings), he cut off contact and promised to draw strict boundaries in future. He tried his best not to trigger my emotions, being extra understanding and patient with me this period. But sometimes I felt I cannot do it because the trust and safety is gone. He will cry sometimes because he felt whatever he does is not enough for me to forgive and forget. Is it me refusing to let go that caused both of us being in so much pain? Below are some details of what happened. Please let me know if I am overthinking or normal to feel so hurt. Thank you for your advice and opinions in advance!

He had a coworker who worked in the same company as him for several years. But recently she started to approach and texted him frequently. Slowly they began texting each other daily 24/7 with high frequency. Basically the girl initiated and kept the convo going on all day. She will start the day by saying good morning everyday and concerned about what time he slept last night. Followed by work talks and guessed each other lunches, showed him her daily activities through video notes, sharing tiktok videos, personal talks and say good night to each other. Sometimes she will tell him about her r/s issues with the bf. It looks platonic but their content was not so. He did not mentioned to me this “close friend” as he said he knew I will be unhappy even there was nothing going on. But he did not hid his hp or pw from me. So one day, I went to check his hp and found out the chats. He didn’t get defensive or angry when I found out but broke down when he saw me crying. When I pointed out some details below, he looked confused and said he didn’t know what is emotional cheating and didn’t realize it looked this ambiguous until I pointed out. He apologized and said he still love me and the family, but insisted he has no intention or romantic interest in other girl, just treating her as a fun talking buddy. He even felt guilty for the girl that him reciprocated friendly might be sending wrong signals to her and prompting her to act these way.

1. Texting 24/7 - if the girl is not interested, she would not keep the convo going and initiate daily chats. Why maintaining high frequency daily chats with a married man when she got a bf?

2. Girlfriend treatment - the girl will “upset” or fine him if he double ticked her or give her reaction response cos these are convo terminator. He ended up treating her drinks, even order grab bbt delivery (he claimed is free cos he got free vouchers) to her house which she gladly accepted.

3. Flirting / fantasizing - girl called him eye candy, he called her cute, pretty. Flirted like saying shy when see the person, never dream of each other never sleep well etc. (which he claimed these flirting as just joking and not serious) The girl will talk about kdrama scenes, asking where is her male lead and my husband will say maybe him in the next life (again joking, and said in another way meaning she will never meet). Girl referred herself as the moon and he can see her anytime everywhere.

4. Validation and attention - sending him video notes of her daily activities like walking her dog, exercising, her face drinking/buying bbt, going to bed, showing her knee bruises with her upper thigh exposed etc. Asked questions on whether he like talking to her or misses her or if she is special or treat everybody same. (He tht she is just purely friend sharing and trying to “disturb” him)

5. Emotional connection - tell him her issues with her bf and work stuff and then said she showed him her vulnerable side. Tell him dont make her so vulnerable. Tell him can only be her personal counselor. (Im glad my husband has never showed her any personal emotional things to her yet, and trying to give her advice as a friend)

6. Missing texts - I found out becos some had replies to that missing texts, usually is he said she cute. And also her address was missing when he ordered grab to her house. So what else could I have missed? He insisted he did not delete text, if true, why she deleted for everyone?

7. Ambiguous hints / testing waters

She send him screenshots to play guess-the-phrase game. But out of so many phrases she chose “falling in love” and “missing u” for him to guess.

She will get “upset” if he said he is replaceable talking friend, or if he laughed it off when she said she misses him.

He teased her and she said shy. He said he better stop and she said next time when need to stop talking, now want to be happy first. (Why in the world need to stop talking in future if they are just platonic?)

When he send hug sticker to comfort her and later scared she misunderstands, she said she ok, no need ask permission, do what he like.

Once, he accompanied her to wait for lasik surgery, while waiting, they went for a movie which the clinic gave for free, and she fell asleep and almost slept on his shoulders, he moved away slightly and she quickly woke up and shifted. Not sure if it is on purpose. (I found out becos in the chat, he teased her and said she slept until shoulders. But when I confronted him, he said he meant shoulder area, almost touch but not yet.)