Future

I try to put myself in their shoes as much as possible but compared to my childhood that had structure this is a daily vacation. I dont understand playing basketball in the evening then not bathing for 2 to 3 days. I dont get how we can expect them to transition to adulthood without some sense of responsibility, for boys do we not want them to be co-leaders in their households and not leave all the responsibilities on their spouse. I never understood the saying beating a dead horse until I read the stories in this group.

Many bio parents had horrible child hoods I get it, many say I WILL NEVER BE LIKE MY PARENTS, great but lets not do a complete 180. im sure even if u take 0 from your parents you knew as u grew up certain qualities u needed right away and others you figured out as you grew older. Its not about ruining a kids childhood, its not about demanding and enslaving, its about setting a great foundation so spouses can enjoy each other in their later yrs. Without a solid foundation these kids will have difficulty launching, maintaining jobs and or relationships.

My last point, influence SKs have on younger siblings is important and to be monitored. ive watched my 3 yr complain that his 13 sb teases him to where he will ask me dad am I bad..... told my wife hey this is affecting him...." oh u want them not to play, you want to raise a soft child, kids will be kids". Ridiculous and stupid. You have to be the protector for ur child, bio parents have a trend of favoring one child's wants over the needs of the entire home for whatever reason. maybe the kid like my ss says hey buy me a ticket to go back to my dad, or pouts to get his way but you have to be the protector for ur child so PROTECT HIM, regardless of if it causes you to lose ur marriage or relationship.

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