The End is near (for me)

When I was 16years old I already had severe scoliosis, got called Quasimodo, gollum.

Very strong pain.

"Just do physiotherapy."

30 years old - 14 years of strong pain.

91° degrees scoliosis...

"Just do physiotherapy. "

All day headaches for over 10 years now, no friends for many years, never had a girlfriend, no money.

31 spine fusion operation. Im not hunchbacked anymore but still back feels bad and have strong neckpain/headache pain level went up. bad posture forward head posture like always.

35yo now

Took a credit from the bank 18 thousand and gambled it away in a few days this january.

Have to pay 300 euro a month till 2031now but cant work anymore.

Still get no pain meds. Had so many appointments in the last 12 months.

The next two days i have test work in 2 kindergardens because im a kindergarden teacher. And it will be horrible.

Sadly live with my parents for a year now again so it wont be easy to end myself unnoticed but ill manage probably.

there isnt a glimpse of hope. Doctors make a show trial im not getting anything of them.

bad past, bad at the moment, no future. over and out i guess.