When I behave nonchalantly, dont make efforts, dont reciprocate - that's when men adore and value me. When I'm myself, they get bored and leave. What's your advice to me? [26F]

I'm 26 and am talking about arranged marriage. i did not date anyone, came directly to arranged marriage, and most of my matches are 28-32 (so grown ups).

This is a repeating pattern. Only when I am lazy or behave in a disinterested way, do they make efforts and reach our repeatedly.

When I make efforts, schedule things, make plans - it almost never happens. They start seeking better options and postpone things.

How do I proceed? I am more of a chalant person who likes to DO things more than receive, but that only leaves me hurt or abandoned.