Covenant Eyes reliability?

Hi Reddit, I’m hoping for some perspective.

My partner has been using Covenant Eyes to help with his porn addiction. It was working really well — he made it to 100 days porn-free.

A few weeks ago, I noticed the app had blocked a few porn sites. He denied ever looking at them, saying it must have been a mistake. He even called Covenant Eyes and had the blocks removed. During this time, he was mad at me for not believing him and trusting the app, which felt wrong because the whole point of using it was accountability.

Fast forward a few weeks: I saw that the same two sites were blocked again, now 8 more entries. He said it was the same mistake, and I let it go, and we’ve been working through this in couples therapy.

Then last night, we were watching TV and I asked to borrow his phone to look something up. I opened the browser and saw a weird ad (it wasn’t porn — it looked like Candy Crush). I asked him what it was. He immediately got angry and upset, asking why I was looking through his phone. Because of how he reacted, I asked if it was porn, and he said, “I can’t do this,” and walked away.

To add context: his mom is his support person, and she told me, “Why even ask him? You know with Covenant Eyes everything is blocked.” That felt weird to me. It seems like I should be able to ask, especially given what has been happening.

Every time I ask him about Covenant Eyes or blocked sites — just trying to understand, not accusing — he gets really upset and defensive.

Has anyone else had this type of experience with Covenant Eyes? How do you navigate the balance between accountability, trust, and feeling safe to ask questions without triggering anger or defensiveness?