My Experience with Klonopin

Hi. I'm new here. Please be gentle.

I am in my mid-30s, female, and diagnosed with Bipolar 2, C-PTSD, ADHD, and high blood pressure. I take Trintellix 10mg, 150mg lamictal, and 100mg labetalol 2x/day. The ADHD is unmedicated and I've never taken anything for it. I also have 3 kids, including 2 who are disabled.

I've been under a lot of stress lately. I was let go about a year ago due to general layoffs (40+ employees at once), applied for hundreds of jobs, and started a new one about a month later. I'm a high performer, but this company I now work for is extremely disorganized.

In December, we had a new department manager come in. The new manager is incredibly organized and trying to make things better in our department, which I appreciate, but we're a small team and the manager has already fired the person I've been working with for the last year, but is letting them stay on until the end of the month. Some of their work has already fallen into my lap. I'm trying my best to keep up. I have a sense of survivor's guilt.

In the midst of having a bacterial chest and sinus infection, I had a panic attack on 2/14. It came in waves and lasted for 2+ hours. I experienced a rapid heart rate, feeling like I was losing control, fear (of course), trembling and muscle tension, coldness (like "ice in my veins"), and shortness of breath. The next few days, I felt a strong sense of general emotional fragility. I felt like a kicked puppy.

I went to the doctor the following Tuesday, and I mentioned the panic attack. I asked for something for emergency use only because I developed a fear of having another panic attack. My doctor prescribed 0.5 mg Clonezapam (Klonopin) on top of antibiotics for my infection -- 10 pills total for use over 3 months. I thought I was set and felt prepared.

On 2/28, exactly 2 weeks later, down to within the hour the first one had started, I had another panic attack. This one started slow, but I knew what it was. I took the 0.5 mg Klonopin. My husband sat with me through this attack, which was about 60-70% as strong as the first one I had. I was cold and trembling through the fear, and he was able to help me regulate my breathing. Then the Klonopin kicked in. My entire upper body felt warm, but my lower half was still cold. Then I felt a hot flush of heat in my neck, throat, and cheeks. I fell asleep almost instantly after that.

The next morning (yesterday), I was incredibly groggy and disoriented for an hour or two. Then came the crying spells, which lasted for SEVEN HOURS. Just crying triggered by nothing, off and on, for seven hours. I felt horrible.

At around the 24-hour mark after my panic attack, the crying spells had worn off and I felt the familiar "ice in my veins" feeling. I was too scared to take the Klonopin again, but I was able to fall asleep. This morning, that same feeling returned but it has subsided for now as of 10 AM.

I've asked my doctor for something else besides Klonopin. I hate the way it made me feel and how it knocked me out. Perhaps something to add to my daily regimen for anxiety, rather than an emergency use drug.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? What medication HAS helped you?

Thank you in advance. All responses are appreciated.