Need Help

been grinding for 4 months and I dream of quitting J2 everyday. the meetings are 20 hours a week JUST on meetings alone and I catch myself working way into the night. J2 is PE owned and operates like a start up; I'm in an IC role but I am doing the work of multiple people, also pipeline is tracked heavily and numbers are constantly an issue. manager is pretty hands off but I know they are coming for me bc after 3 months I haven't produced much and I'm slacking but I'm miserable.

what to do? keep slacking until I get fired as I also have a decent amount of PTO accrued or have a come to Jesus with my manager and say I'm overwhelmed.