Don't want orgasm, deep down...

I had one just over two weeks ago and I can see it now, frustration is so much better. Other people getting off and getting so close that I think I desperately want it. The envy is sublime. Those five and a half months of gooning for others' pleasure and amusement were so amazing, I wanna make it longer. No matter how much I think I want release, I need denial. I wanna beg just to be told no, to watch another's orgasmic bliss, I wanna see how long the frustration takes me to cry.

I have no interest in sex or sexting, but if anyone's due an orgasm, it'd be really hot if you let it out while I have two partners holding me to account...