I 32M broke up with my girlfriend 30F because I wasn’t invited to the best friend’s party

I am wondering if I handled this wrong.

We originally became friends about three years ago. After that we saw each other casually for over a year and decided to officially try a relationship about three months ago. Before becoming official we had some issues between us that we were trying to move past.

My girlfriend’s best friend is having a birthday party at her house this weekend. They used to live together and my girlfriend has supported her in many ways. My girlfriend even took two days off work to help the birthday girl prepare everything and make the day special for her because the birthday girl’s parents are visiting from another country and she has been stressed with work and planning the party.

Today at lunch my girlfriend mentioned the party again and I asked if it was a girls only thing, since she had never mentioned me coming with her.

My girlfriend said it was not girls only and that some of the birthday girl’s guy friends would be there.

Then my girlfriend told me I was not invited because the birthday girl said she “does not know me” and that she feels very sorry but she only wants close friends there. At the same time, some of the birthday girl’s other friends’ male partners were invited because she “knows them”.

That surprised me. I have actually met the birthday girl before. We have not spent much time together because the opportunity never really came up, but I am not a complete stranger and she has known about me for over a year.

I asked my girlfriend if she was okay with that. My girlfriend said it was the birthday girl’s party and she did not want to argue about it. She also said that because of issues in the past between her and me, even before we officially tried the relationship, she did not feel comfortable pushing back.

I asked another question. I said that if the birthday girl feels like she does not know me, wouldn’t something like this be a good opportunity for her to actually get to know me since I am her best friend’s boyfriend.

I also asked my girlfriend if the situation were reversed, she would have invited the bday girl’s partner, and she said yes because she has known him for years.

That response made the situation feel worse to me.

My girlfriend was taking time off work to help with the party, she knows I do not have many friends in this city yet, and I was the only partner not invited. The fact that she was not willing to even question it made me feel like she might not have my back and that I might not be able to rely on her in the future.

The more I thought about it, the more I started wondering what would happen in bigger situations. If someone treated me unfairly, would she stay quiet to keep the peace?

It also made me question the dynamic of their friendship because it surprised me that the birthday girl would put my girlfriend in a situation that could create tension in her relationship.

All of this made me question the relationship and whether we see partnership the same way, so I ended things.

Now I am wondering if I overreacted or if this was a reasonable boundary.

TLDR: My girlfriend took time off work to help organize her best friend’s birthday party, but I wasn’t invited because the birthday girl said she “doesn’t know me,” even though other partners were invited. My girlfriend didn’t want to push back because of past issues between us, and it made me feel like she might not have my back in the future, so I ended the relationship.