I feel like my severe social anxiety makes me unloveable.

This has been something on my mind lately and I realistically I know that isn’t true- I have family and close friends that love me dearly. But lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the fact that I’m almost 32 and have never had a significant other- I rarely have anyone show interest in me and if it does happen, my anxiety ruins it.

All of my friends are in relationships- one is married, one is engaged, and the other has been in a serious long term relationship for six years now with an engagement just around the corner. It just makes me feel like I’m missing out on such a normal and seemingly great experience. I’ve always wanted to share my life with someone but because of my severe social anxiety, I feel like it’s out of the cards for me. I honestly don’t think that I’ll ever find anyone.

I feel like I have too many problems and that I’m too much to handle, no one would want to put up with me. I’m just really frustrated that I’m getting older and my social anxiety is still so disabling to the point where I can’t date. I feel like time is running out for me. I also feel like I don’t have anything to offer anyone and that I’ll be holding them back in life because of my anxiety so it would be best if I just stay single. I have agoraphobia as well so that also plays a part, however I’m trying my absolute hardest to try overcoming it.

I’m working with my therapist on ways to manage my anxiety and come out of my comfort zone but the progress has been incredibly slow. I just want to be at the point where I’m somewhat comfortable and willing to meet new people and not avoid it at all costs- otherwise I won’t be able to meet new friends, a potential partner, and just generally live the rest of my life.

I know that best thing to do now is to work on myself for now, but I’m just so, so lonely and wish that I could have a supportive partner, or at least more close friends that I get to see often. My friends live in different states and I only see them twice a year.

I’m just really scared of my future and the very real possibility that I’m going to end up alone because of this disorder.