resigned after a month at work

i got hired in a small recruiting agency based in the uk last month. mababa yung pay, training is 10k for the first month then 18k starting salary. i accepted it cause it was a better pay than my current job as a government job order employee and i wanted to work from home. i came from a big consulting firm before that, based sa bgc and it was a hybrid set up. however, it was only a project based role for 6 months and the work was so niche only a few companies in the ph does it. i also looked for a wfh job that relates to it pero wala. since i think only big corporate companies ang gumagawa non.

i graduated 2024 btw. and my career progression is sobrang gulo. i worked for a bpo company as an admin officer but it was so toxic i only lasted two months. then my project based job that lasted 6 months. and my recent job that lasted only for a month. with these companies, i initially applied as hr or under recruitment. however, i get offered different roles. ako naman since i want a job sa bad i accept it kahit iba siya sa role na inapplyan ko.

with this full on remote job, i got offered to work in operations. i have no idea how to work in operations but i accepted it anyway cause akala ko madali ko lang siya matutunan. 2 weeks in and everything was okay. however after non everything starts to go downhill when i focused more on the operations part of my job. half of the time i wasn't sure if what i'm doing is right. and every time they ask me if how is it going i say it's okay kahit di naman na talaga. kasi i wanted to show them that i can do it. na magaling ako. but turns out i wasn't really and it snowballed. i get anxious every time i go to work kasi i feel like one day i'll just receive an email or a call that i did a huge mistake and everyone hates me.

and nangyari nga siya. last week may hindi ako naintindihan na task and i got it wrong and my boss noticed. of course i was scolded, i felt like mawawalan na ako trabaho there and then. but they thought about it and gave me another chance and adjusted my tasks. the next day, i did it again. i made a mistake. they gave me another chance. but after these mistakes i got shaken up. takot na takot na ako magsubmit work kasi baka mali nanaman. and today, i made a mistake again. after our call, i thought about it and ayoko na. he's right naman with all the points he's given about my work. and i thought about it and i don't want to break myself and put the company in jeopardy if i can't do my job right. so i told them i no longer wish to continue.

my boss didn't agree at first. but i explained it and he eventually accepted my decision. it felt like a huge relief on my side. but i also felt a heaviness in my chest cause i felt like i was a big failure. i cried to my man after that kasi it was days na i keep making mistakes and it was really affecting my mental health.

i honestly hope better things are coming, but i can't help to think na i'll be bad at every job i do.