A Simple life is Chosen, it's not the Default.

This is about what I've learned and how I'm finding peace and happiness in my life. Life is Simple, when we Choose it. Too many times from movies, books, life advice and experiences, the message is always that "simplicity is the answer".

However I'm in my 30's now and all my life, I remember wanting 'more' which is not simple. More money, more influence, more responsibility, more respect, more things... it's only later after we experience some pain and some maturity that we realize, we do not want more... we have had enough. We want simplicity. We want calmness. We want contentment. This is not found in obtaining more. This is found in finding that 'Less is More'. Which is a very mature and high level idea to explain to someone because they will only understand it in the right season of life.

When I was younger, I would work 80-90 hrs a week to get more money - because I didn't have much. I was young and starting out.

Next, I would go to bars with friends and read about how to talk to girls and get better at conversation and humor. I would go all night Thurs-Sun - because I didn't have a girlfriend. I was young and trying to find someone that I could love and care for.

Next, I read incessantly about mindset, thinking bigger, becoming respected. I read, watched and thought about this nearly 24 hours a day, all week - because I didn't have respect or influence. I was young and trying to learn how the world worked.

Next, I started working out daily and sometimes twice a day - because I didn't have much muscle and didn't like how I looked. I was trying to become proud of what I looked like and how I showed up.

That was before... when I was young, when I wanted 'more' in all areas.

Now... through learning, experiencing, contemplating, and speaking with those older and further along than me... I realize all I desire is 'Simple'.

While it may feel like there are a million things to do in a day and not enough time or money... there aren't. There are only four areas in my life. If I focus on these four areas and realize there are only four categories to my life than it is manageable.

1. My relationship with my Lord & God.

Importance: When I trust God with my life and continue learning about Him, his love for me, his personality and the way he lives, I find it easy to remember that everything is taken care of already. There is nothing for me to do or control. I am called to show up, do the work that he asks of me and to acknowledge that He does not need me, he wants me. When I remember that everything I'm grateful in my life, was a gift from him and one that he expects me to love and care for and multiply, I have less anxiety about making 'More' in my life because he does not need my help. He chooses to include me.

Actions: What I do in order to grow closer to my Lord and understand Him better is to sit in lessons about Him weekly at my church, read about Him in my spare time just the same as I do with a favorite book, attend workshops or retreats with other people that are learning more about Him just the same as I have in the past with business retreats, as well as do life with a group of men weekly that actively pursue Him in their life.

2. My wife.

Importance: When I am in relationship with my beautiful wife, that I do not deserve, and we have trust and communication, I am happy. My wife affirms and encourages me even when friends or family are not there. Her trust and confidence in me, remind me why it is worth continuing the things that I do for our family. She helps keep me balanced and at peace. It's Simple, your relationship with your wife is the 2nd most powerful relationship in your life after your relationship with God. An encouraging and mature wife, can lead men into battle with zero fear or anxiety or a pessimistic and immature wife, can make it difficult to want to get out of bed in the morning or even start your day. I take this very seriously. It's Simple but Important.

Actions: What I do in order to grow my relationship with my wife is being present and intentional when I am with her, reading books with each other and discussing our thoughts afterward, dreaming with her about what we want and will do in life to keep us both excited about the coming future, attending church together, having intimate time together, and learning how to show up for her even better.

3. My health.

Important: When I am physically fit and healthy, it causes me to show up differently in life, relationships, and business. It causes me to feel proud of the decisions I've made up to this point that have caused this result which makes me secure and confident in my life. It's amazing and shocking to me how quickly negative self talk and insecurity begin when I start to eat super processed fast foods and alcohol, start noticing that my shirts don't fit so well and realizing that my energy is lacking mid day.

Actions: What I do to stay in shape is to turn waking up and working out into a default. I'm going to the gym regardless if I have 30 min or 2 hrs. I'm going to get a workout in before I start my day, eating healthier options and meal prepping lunch to take the decision out of spending money or not being able to find a healthy option, lowering alcohol consumption and increasing water consumption, weight training and running.

4. My income and savings.

Important: When I choose to spend less than I make, invest the rest and intentionally write a budget, it calms the fear and stress that I have about needing to work harder and longer. I choose to tithe and give back 10% of the income that God blesses me with because this reminds me of the fact that all of the resources I earned are God's resources that he chose to give me. I've also learned that a budget is when I write out the amounts I will spend on different categories of my life prior to spending it. It's not restricting, it's planning. This causes me to feel proud of the discipline that I've followed to get the result of lowered spending and larger savings accounts and allows me to be generous with my money.

Actions: What I choose to do to accomplish this is tithing to my church, writing out a budget for my spending, research ways I can lower my expenses (both business and personal), saving 50% of my income so that I have run way for hard seasons or storms in life.

These four areas are the only ones that I need to focus on. It's that Simple. Easier said than done for sure... the realization that I'm making at this point in my life is that the order matters. If I get these out of order in my life, they slowly start falling apart. 1) God 2) Wife 3) Health 4) Money.

If you look around, you can quickly identify with others that have made this mistake...

Ex: A man has a 6 pack and awards for the fastest time in multiple marathons but comes home to a wife he has neglected during all that training and is on the verge of divorce.

Ex: A man that chooses to work 24/7 and is stacking money in savings, just to find that when he wakes up tomorrow, he is 60 lbs overweight and beginning to spend more on medical bills to maintain this life.

Ex: A man that is in great shape, and is close with his wife, putting her first in all things even above God, reaches his 40's or 50's and begins asking the question "What's the point of life... why do we do all this...? and is soon filled with a lethargic depressed view of life that can quickly attack his physical health as well as the health of his marriage.

Do you do this well? What order are you prioritizing these things in? What have you done well and what do you need to do well in?