i took a break from my relationship and i didn’t expect what would happen

i genuinely felt better, more free in a way i no longer have ups and down unless me and him talk, completely crashouts when we do talk because hes very dismissive. and it makes me wonder, it really makes me wonder was the problem ever me? or was it the dynamic of the relationship? and this has led me to feel like i never ever want to be in a relationship ever again. i’d rather be alone and stable than miserable and in a relationship. the only downside is feeling lonely alot of the time. i was very dependent on him emotionally, and so now i feel like something is missing. where should i go from here?