Huge update (TW)

As i’m writing this at 12:11 am, i may or may not be thinking straight. I’ve been struggling for years and the fact that my current psychiatrist/neurologist doubted my diagnosis (Major depressive disorder+seizure disorder; yes i’ve been diagnosed with that several times with different psychiatrists). And i have no healthy coping mechanisms other than smoking and playing fruit ninja on my forearms and the back of my hand.

I just want to be okay for once.. i feel numb and empty and my body needs some kind of relief to feel “something”