rant tired of everything

man i have been trying for this exam for the past three years i was undergoing an health issue didnot get the chances to work one year ago i got cured of the disease i got tb(arthur morgan voices....) and was immobile for period of time still prepared for these entrances i knew i am not good at this aptitude exam horrible at this 1st year scored 60 percentile next year 79 tought i could do better as i am young only 22 i wanted to take the chance and took a gap prepared like anything all i could go was 90 percentile in cat xat but snap i scored really well 99.54 but couldnt convert sibm by 7-8 marks and scmhrd by 2 marks waitilsted at 44 and i know i got no chances for it man honestly i am tired and i have to figure out everything i got no support in terms of this 1st generation learner everything feels like a end now i was rooting for tapmi but i saw no conversion today it broke me tired of everything