I need T. Now. Fucking now. I can't take any more of this shit.

I'm 21. I'm supposed to be an adult. I'm supposed to be a man. Instead, I'm some kind of stupid little juvenile pseudo-boy female piece of shit who sounds like a child and looks even more like one. A damn foetus who bleeds and suffers and squirms in pain every month because biology is obsessed with reminding me that I'm supposed to be nothing more than a living incubator. It's a miracle that I've never been pulled over by an officer who might think that I'm a 12 y/o who stole his parents' car. I'm pathetic. Oh well! All I can do now is keep going to work and functionning and pretend like I'm okay with this, while praying that my upcoming endo appointment will go well and that I'll be able to have access to T as soon as fucking possible. Maybe then I might have a slight chance at getting fixed. As long as this fuckass piece of female meat of a body cooperates for once and lets the treatment do its thing... which is never a guarantee. Being AFAB is such a cruel fucking joke.