I don't know if Im attracted to taboo things (?)

Okay so Ive been struggling a lot lately with taboo things, I genuinely don't know what to do! The thought of doing taboo things in real life is sickening to me, I'm not attracted to taboo things in real life but the thought of other people being attracted to taboo things for some reason gets me going , and I do NOT support those people but sometimes I genuinely just can't control my urges or feelings , everytime I get off to the thought I feel icky and disgusted with myself afterwards always, I just wanna be normal does anyone know if this is normal or I'm just fucked up? ​