How do you live on without any family? I am 33 and living alone with an ilness without any hopes for the future

In just a few years, my life was completely torn apart. I had a job, a boyfriend, and lived in a reasonably nice rental apartment. It was an average and normal life, but it all seems like a dream since my new reality drastically changed...

As a child, I was emotionally and physically abused for years by my narcissistic mother. So my start in this world wasn't easy. She tried to ruin my life well into adulthood. It wasn't an easy decision, but it was necessary to break away from her and seek psychological help. I noticed I was encountering problems in various social areas as a result of a traumatic past. After making this choice, however, my life slowly went downhill, something I could never have foreseen.

My father developed Alzheimer's and was abused by my mother. The relationship with my partner fell apart, and shortly afterward, I lost my job and subsequently my home. The apartment I lived in was registered in my father's name, but since his dementia diagnosis, he no longer had any say in it. Because he was still married to my mother, she could manage his assets, so my mother decided to put me out on the street and sell the apartment at a profit. She gambled away the profits on bitcoins shortly after, according to her own account...

Not long after, my aunts died, and I suddenly became ill and developed a balance disorder. Then, in the summer, my father passed away. The person I love so much and who was so close to me. He was a ray of light in my life.

I'm almost 34 years old and live a lonely existence in a cramped social housing unit with former addicts as neighbors. I can't work because of my illness, and my dear father is no longer with us. It's as if I exist alone in this world and have no future. When I try to discuss my difficulties with the few friends I have, I'm often met with incomprehension. Their lives are currently focused on having children and buying houses, and I don't blame them, but I do feel torn inside and lonely because I've completely lost everything I had and everything who I was.

Are there perhaps others here who are going through the same thing and can share tips? When I feel very lonely and ill, I imagine in my mind what it would be like to leave my body and be reunited with my father. I really don't know what to do. How do I find my own identity in this life after losing someone who gave me an identity? I have no idea where to begin.