Am I ignoring red flags? 1 out of IDK how many

I don't know if communication can fix these problemssss or they are red flags, I wrote a 30mins long post, so better do it on separate posts.

We just had a fight, he ran away, saying "better have some space", while I would prefer hugging each other for 3 mins and stop defending ourselves and restart the conversation. I feel abandoned.

Now I can't sleep and wondering if there have been red flags that I simply don't want to face.

RED FLAG 1? He himself made a choice of how WE deal with conflicts, I didn't have a choice, I don't have a say. it's all how he wants it, what he believes is the best for US.

RED FLAG 2?

the fight was stupid ..we went hiking, it was beyond my level, I had sore muscle and I made noise when I moved, I wasn't aware I was making sound until he said "stop whining". I gave him a message that night, but he didn't nothing caring after pushing me too far, but calling me " whining" I feel very gaslighted, and I feel there is a pattern that whenever I vent or complain, he would simply say " stop that ", " stop saying you cannot, it's just all your mind", " just let go", " your father just needs attention", " you have daddy issue, deal with it"... I feel denied, I don't feel the support, I don't feel he is by my side but he is annoyed and wants me to shut up.

He claims he is just being encouraging.

Him, 59, bi, always been poly

Me 40, flexible, first time.

We were both into poly when we first met, but he broke up with his 6 year bf after we were together for about a year. and my lover doesn't base here in my city. so practically we are quite mono in the last 2.5 year except for kinky parties and some moresome.

I still have about 10 more questions.