Feeling like I’m being pushed out

I recently had a horrible experience while interviewing for a software engineer role at a large bank that’s recently been in the news regarding discrimination and shady hiring practices among a certain group of people.

As soon as I saw the interviewer list I knew it would be an uphill battle. I did the interview, I felt good about it, then get a call over a week later and was told I’m not being selected for a the role because one of the interviewers voted “Strong no hire” and It was from exactly who I thought it would be. I would throw my head back and laugh if I wasn’t so infuriated. Despite getting good feedback from the rest of the interviewers, this one decision and vote was enough to invalidate my candidacy altogether. And looking at his name and witnessing his overall demeanor during the interview I knew he is one of the slave drivers among his people and likely takes pleasure in abusing his position of power.

I really gave it my all and now I am feeling broken and devastated about this outcome. It feels like no matter what I do I can’t get my foot in the door because there is always one of these guys smiling in your face while his mind was already made and the outcome of the interview was decided before I even joined the call.

I’m tired of being told that I’m not good enough and don’t deserve a job in this space from someone with childlike communication and English skills, who’s been in this country for a few years, likely entering via a scam or lucrative hiring pipeline. I’m tired of being put under performance reviews and pushed out because my manger would rather save someone more like him who would be facing deportation if he chose him instead. I’m tired of being talked down to and condescended by people I have to train my ears to even begin to understand.

With this defeat I am likely dropping out of the software industry as I can’t see myself putting up with this bullshit for another 40 years. I don’t know how this happened but this industry is theirs now, and they can have it. I’m young but If I recover from this and ever get into a position of power and gain the ability to make hiring decisions, I will not forget what I’ve been put through and will do my utmost to keep these people as far away from me and those I care about as possible.

I apologize if this post breaks any rules, but I am so angry and can’t talk to anybody else about this in person. I just want to be heard and told what I’m dealing with is not normal and hopefully will not last. Dropping out feels like I’m giving them what they want, total hegemony in one of our most specialized and skilled industries. On the other hand I’m so fatigued by witnessing the same patterns play out over and over again.

Thank you for reading