Bad Dream

So I just woke up because I had a horrible dream.

Background:

To have a better understanding, you need to know my past, I used to be an addict. The only thing that saved me from being an addict was getting run over by a car and nearly losing my life. I was walking down the street at around 3AM, it was a neighborhood street, and I was falling in and out of sleep while walking. The next thing I know I’m rolling under a car. I can feel my back getting torn to shreds from the metal under the car. Then the car drove off, leaving me for dead. My legs were stuck in a V shape, I couldn’t put the, back together. The only thing I could think of was how I wasn’t able to make my family happy, always worried about me and always wondering where I was if and if I was ever going to get somewhere with my life. and now that I’m going to be dead in a few minutes, I regretted it so badly. I passed out, when I passed out, I had a vision about what their lives would be like if I died, then I woke up again, and passed out again. This time I heard a voice telling me that no matter what, I had to get to the main road, and once I’m at the main road, they’ll have someone there waiting for me to call an ambulance. Then, I felt someone breath in a Breath of Life into my lungs, I woke up, but no one was there, I was laying in a pool of red stuff. I knew my pelvis was shattered, so I knew I had to drag my body. Long story short, I dragged my body about 1/4 a mile, and someone on a bike ride by, I called out for help, they turned back around, and called the ambulance for me. One of the fire fighters knew who I was, and called my dad (in another state) and told him, what happened.

The feeling I couldn’t shake off was the feeling of dying alone, feeling your own heart beat stop, knowing you broke every relationship that ever loved you. I could never forget that feeling, dying all alone. It’s the scariest thing I’ve ever felt, and I’ve been through a lot.

At this point in my life, I’ve been sober for 1 1/2 years now, and I’m never looking back again

The Dream:

At first I was with my family. Well, just my mom and sister. We were on vacation, I guess it was a girls trip to where my sis and I grew up. All of a sudden, there was a crowd of people, with dr*gs. The people were scattering around everywhere. I lost my mom and sister in the midst of it, and found a group of old friends. I started using again. We started running from cops. Then, at soeme point, I realized what I was doing, stopped focusing on the dr*gs, and tried to focus on my mom and sister. Where were they??? I couldn’t find them. I was scared. Then, I found my sister, and she said that mom left with our aunt. My mom, being the amazing person she is, came running to us through this secret door thing, told us to follow her, and we did. She was waiting in this 3 row gold cart with my aunt, waiting for us to get in. Once we were all in, we started diving, trying to beat the crowd of people to a safe place. We arrived, I got off the golf cart, and we started walking to the safe place. Somehow, the crowd beat us, and I lost them again. Then I woke up.

I know it may sound like nothing to you guys,but it was very scary to me. The energy was scary. Me going back to the bad ways was scary. Then, when I woke up, I had a deep flashback of when I got run over, and felt my whole body broken again. (It wasn’t just my pelvis that shattered, that was the main thing)

So, idk I thought I’d share, so I can feel better and go back to sleep.