Mother always plays victim, and I’m sick of it- need advice on how to deal with it

So, my mother (50 f) has always been super controlling my (20 f) whole life. She also always has to be in distress, or have it worse or just as bad as you all the time. The last 2 years of my life has been the literal worst I’ve experienced. 2 of my grandparents died, I have had 4 really terrible roommates, was homeless and sleeping on friends couches for over a month during finals (college student), having to choose between food and rent (rent was always the choice), have to move apartments last minute to get out of a very toxic environment twice, was without a job for months and couldn’t afford anything, and most recently, got into a bad car accident leaving me with a concussion, whip lash, and no car (it was totaled). So safe to say I’ve been through the wringer a bit. But I recently moved apartments very last minute to escape some horrible roommates, which was super stressful finding a place that was in my budget. Then nearly right after moving in, and finally getting settled, I get into a 4 car pile up, and I take the brunt of all of the force. I get diagnosed with a concussion and whiplash afterwards. My mother has been denying that I had a head injury (the concussion) and keeps trying to spin that her making phone calls to insurance companies has been absolutely awful and just as bad as me balancing a new job, college (in my graduating semester) and being without a car all at the same time. The city I’m in had decent public transportation, but it takes me over an hour to get to and from my apartment on the public transport, vs 5-10 minutes by car. I am 500 miles away from my family and my friends in my city are all too busy or have very different schedules to give me rides. The issue is I am an artist in college (for art) and I always have large and very heavy things with me everyday. Trying to navigate that and public transportation was an absolute disaster. I also couldn’t be in certain places when I needed to be and relying on the bus schedule was difficult and it was very limiting. Safe to say, I wasn’t having a good time. Plus it’s been raining and snowing here on and off the entire time, which doesn’t bode well for me. Plus having to walk home alone in the dark is extremely unsettling and scary a lot of the time. Me and my mom have started fighting tonight about it. I’m tired of her playing the victim all the time (constantly with everything growing up) then getting mad at me when I call her out. The only thing she ever has to say about it is how ungrateful I am, when I never asked for help, never forced her to do anything, and also, constantly said thank you and told her how much I appreciated the help. I’m just at a loss on what to do. Here is where my conversation with her ended tonight:

Mom: “I just have to say this to get it off my chest. I have been with you through this whole s*** show...whether it's your apartment hunting and this car crap. I've spent endless hours looking online for apartments/making calls and making phone calls for your car crap... It's not been fun...It's been stressful, frustrating and exhausting. I did not have to help you and I could have just left it up to you to figure out and your attitude with s*** tells me you are unappreciative and don't acknowledge the inconvenience it's put on me and it pisses me off.”

Me: “I never asked for help- you decided to help on your own accord, so I was not asking or forcing you to do anything to help me- and either way, I have made it very known that I appreciate everything- I have said it countless times- and I know it hasn’t been fun- I’ve been the one going through all of it- on top of school, work, and everything else going on- you being on the phone doesn’t equate to actually dealing with the problem first hand- sleeping on couches for over a month, or being without a car for weeks isn’t the same as making a bunch of phone calls- I know that part sucks too- I’ve had to do plenty of it as well- but I get really frustrated when you keep trying to tell me how awful it’s been when I’ve had the worst of it- I have said so many times that I appreciate it- I can’t help that you choose to ignore that- and you constantly nagging me about finding a job after graduation, or other little things doesn’t help in the slightest- that just adds more to the plate of things I have to do that I already can’t get done because there is so much of it- I can figure it out when I have a chance- but I don’t need you nagging or reminding me to find a job- I don’t need nagging or reminders about other things either- I have enough to deal with every hour as it is, I don’t need extra stress put on things that don’t need stress yet- but I can’t handle the “it’s been awful and stressful for me too” when you’re not the one dealing with the brunt of everything on top or work and school- I have been appreciative, and thankful, and I have expressed that many many times-“

Mom: “I am not even going to respond to this comment tonight... All I got to say is wow and you hear from me tomorrow 🤬”

I haven’t responded to her last message. I’m just so tired of her pushing me around and letting her get away with things she shouldn’t because it’s easier to do that than to argue with her. If someone can give me some insight on how to handle this, that would be helpful. I have been her scapegoat for too long, and I don’t have the energy for it anymore. I’ve been really really struggling with my mental health and trying to manage my ADHD, but because of all of the outside stress and things going on, my medications for my ADHD haven’t been working, so I’m just at a loss. I can’t handle fighting with her, especially because I know she’s taking her anger out on my family at home. Any advice or thoughts on this are welcome and appreciated.