Dysphoria getting stronger

Lately I've had intense thoughts of "I need to pass. Passing is really important to me. Getting FFS is crucial to me. I would actually really feel way more comfortable with a vagina." I won't feel complete until I've done what I can to reduce my dysphoria. And I was like "wait, if these things are dysphoria, I'm actually like... allowed to want these things, and proceed with doing what my soul needs."

I think I actually hate having my penis down there. It's in the way, and it feels offensive. I don't feel comfortable having something there when I wear pants, I dislike the bulge a lot. I can't wear women's underwear and feel like it sits there as it's supposed to. I wish I could be at girls night and have more fat and a feminine shaped body. Curves, I would love curves. My receding hairline is a curse that actually affects my mood every day.

Lately this dysphoria has just been hitting me like a brick.