I guess it's finally over between us

I can't possibly reach her on any platform anymore, I havent attempted to either since we last spoke and she told me that it isn't a good idea to keep talking. Weve been on and off for many years and just the possibility of something arising from basically nothingness was always in the back of my mind. The possibility always gave me drop in my stomach, the dreams of us even seeing each other again gave me hope that my idea of nothing keeping us apart was true. We always came back to talking terms no matter what happened and it always felt like the universe couldn't possibly keep us apart. To me her beauty is and was ethereal, and every moment of me even being in her closeness rushes me with feelings of nostalgia and happiness that I know I can't even achieve again. There's this saying that if your not supposed to see someone again, no matter how close you live, no matter how strong the feelings used to be, you won't ever run into them again, and that holds strong more and more everyday. I don't mean to sound stuck in the past but the love I held for her was beyond anything Ive felt for any other induvidual, any girl I've spoken to since her has just been a reminder that I lost the best girl to my ignorance and that's something I will never be able to change. I know it isn't healthy and it might even seem "pathetic" to some, but the process to me was slow burning and the mistakes I made are life lessons and for that I am eternally grateful, my beautiful girl I hope you are florishing and I apologize for the pain I caused unknowingly. I hope you stay steadfast in your goals, your blessings stay infinite and your gorgeous smile always stays intact. I know the tag says need to talk, but I already know how I feel about the situation, I just need some input on how to put it all behind me. Thank you to anyone who read this, please always shut up and listen before letting your arrogance ruin what might just be the best thing you'll have.