It feels like it's truly my only option

It's been a long, long time since I've ever had any thoughts like this. I'm tired. It's been years and the harassment from my abuser has never stopped. I do not do anything in return for the people I know because my PTSD has made me into a burden, which gave me a constant need for reassurance. There is something wrong with me because of it. It feels like I need a restart. Im saying this here because I don't want to worry anyone I know.