When care facility is needed and how much $?

Hey.

I’m starting to get quite worried about the potential costs of care. And I fear I’m the only one in my family really thinking about this.

Although my mom is in earlier stages (MCI)… I want to plan ASAP. I remind her almost everyday to take her meds, have to remind her to eat, and she no longer drives. My dad is a pretty bad caregiver. He forgets to remind my mom to take her meds, and he feeds himself well before he even considers whether or not my mom has eaten something. He even said himself that he’s “not a caretaker.” It’s clear to me, that he just doesn’t have it in him. And it’s put a lot of fear in me around my mom’s safety when things get worse.

She doesn’t have long-term care insurance. She’s on my dad’s federal employee benefits, but as of now, he only has long term care coverage for himself. I’m not sure if that’s something my dad can add to his plan to be honest, given how expensive it is.

Thus, I’m not even sure if my mom will qualify for Medicaid, or if Medicaid even covers decent care?

Plus, they may move states for lower cost of living, and ideally, lower cost long-term care. We live in California - the cost of everything here is absolutely insane.

I’m just kind of freaking out to be honest. I feel a lot of pressure to make the right choices, and sometimes feel like a motor that’s trying to motivate and encourage my dad constantly to take action.

I sometimes feel like I’m the only one seeing anything that’s going on.

This is traumatizing and sad and I just want to cry.