Being a horny Christian when ovulating is hard.

Problem/Goal: tuwing nag oovulate or kahit Hindi, na horny ako and I do touch myself sometimes but the thought of having intimate acts with my partner drives me crazy.

Context: ilang beses ko nang binalak bumili ng sex toy online, ichecheck out ko but after a few hours habang di pa na shiship eh ika-cancel ko. Super horny ako everytime na nagbabalak ako bumili nun but when my urges calm down ika-cancel ko and ganito palagi, pa ulit-ulit. I'm in LDR and a virgin.

Gusto ko talaga yung pleasurable experience from masturbation and Hindi ko pa na explore ng mabuti ito. I don't know what to do. I feel convicted for it at times but my desires are way too strong.