My sister robbed me of saying goodbye to my grandmother and has ghosted me.

My grandma passed and I found out through facebook from a post from one of my half sisters. The oldest sister we will call her Tammy who was raised by my grandparents has ignored my text messages, calls and I'm having to rely on distant family members for information. I texted and called my other sister who made the post and she has ignored me too, she was raised by her parents in Georgia. I grew up in Europe so I didn't get that family bond with anyone but I moved back to the US at 19 years old, I am now 27, I've been excluded from events, never to be invited and I'm told "You are family just show up" But how does one show up to events without being in the known of said events, my other sibling got married and I never got my own invite to the wedding. Tammy won't tell me when my other sister is in town or brother and I'd make it known that this upsets me but I am ignored. I've tried to be involved but kept getting ignored, when I was invited to events I never felt included with anyone, I was never invited for family photos and the only time I would be is if my deadbeat dad got out of jail. I always thought it was because of my height compared to them, I am the tallest female I am 5'10 they are about 5'0 so I admit I make photos look odd, they are also super preppy Christian southern bells, I am not, I am I tattoo artist that loves games and just general nerd stuff. I will admit I haven't seen my grandparents in almost a year, I have called them a few times with no answer and had gone to their house once uninvited and they weren't home. So I did stop trying to be involved because I felt like I wasn't important enough for them to call me back, I believe its a two way street they could of also called me and I would pick up and helped with anything that I could like I have in the past. One of my sisters husband died and after the funeral Tammy asked me to drive a bag back to my home state since she flew, I agreed I didn't know what was in the bag till I handed it over to her friend because she was uncomfortable to come get it herself at my tattoo shop she has also called me hood and ghetto in front of her whole family even tho I dont smoke, or drink or do anything I'm called Sobby at work. She text me saying theres missing items but I double checked my car and didn't see anything mind you the bag was prepped and given to her by her mom. I'm scared she's accusing me of stealing cuz she never replied when I told her I haven't found anything and maybe thats why she's upset. She robbed me of saying goodbye to my grandma. I would of dropped everything if I had known how bad things were, she died 4 days ago and I found on on day 3. Am I somehow the AH? Sorry this post is all over the place.