Why am I not enjoying sex as a male?

I'll try to be as brief as possible, as I tend to go overtly into details and end up with huge walls of texts.

I am a man who is attracted to women and I can feel sexual tension. A lot of it.

I anticipated my first sex with my current wife years ago before she became a wife, as the sexual tension grew and grew over time. When it finally came to that, the sexual tension relief felt so good, but not in a way you might think. Looking back at it, the things I enjoyed were intimacy of being naked together and seeing how pleased my wife was. When speaking of me myself and my internal feelings, I didn't feel any pleasure. The act of penetration just felt... empty. What I felt the most was becoming more and more tired.

Also, frustrations on my side have started to pile up, as I was unable to reliably maintain my erection and 75% of the time was spent on me trying to plug in my device. We've consulted a sexologist who has prescribed me viagra and ordered me to do some medical tests (FTST, PRL, TSH, fT4), which all turned to be positive, signaling no issues. We didn't continue sexologist visits though, as they're extremely expensive and I had to leave work in the middle of it just to get there.

For the most part I was confused about my feelings, but that was the first time when I told myself openly that I myself am not getting any joy from sex, outside of bringing that joy to my wife. After telling my wife about the lack of internal pleasure from sex, we tried:

• searching for thinner condoms – in the end, we couldn't find anything thinner for my size.
• getting me circumcised – yeah... I didn't even know something is wrong with my device until my wife insisted that something is. Turned out I had phimosis – a super tight foreskin that absolutely couldn't be pulled back. Yes, I somehow lived all my life without suspecting something's wrong there and that it's how penises look when not circumcised. We thought this has to be the root cause. Long story short, I had the treatment and, to my surprise, it didn't affect getting pleasure from sex at all. At this point I'm devastated, as I had to endure so much pain after the treatment to not get the desired result.

Since then, I've been also thinking about possible psychological reasons while trying to be 100% honest with myself. I've realized some things that I somehow didn't connect earlier:

• watching sex and talking about it always disgusted me – if anything, I always preferred just sexy photoshoots, casually naked women
• vagina inners, spread butthole, exposing vagina from behind while bending – these disgust me, no matter how attractive the woman is
• passionate kissing (in contrast to regular kissing), licking, biting – can't derive any pleasure from these

Driven by my sexual tensions towards my wife, I never even thought about these as issues – and there are so many of them! It's like I believed everything would magically change once I tasted these myself or something – I have never given sex more thought in my earlier life, as I didn't expect finding someone who wants to build a relationship with me. I know that there are preferences, kinks and all of that, but for me it sounds like I'm turned off by sex foundations as a whole and I can't imagine how I could start feeling differently about these.

I wish I could match my wife's passion in these topics, which creates next frustration: disappointing my wife. In this whole topic, she's been very respectful and hasn't been pushy, but from time to time she verbalizes how much she would love to have my device plugged in. It feels tragic to me, as I'm already dreading the idea of sex – all these frustrations mentioned before, no joy, only getting tired, but mostly psychologically. I would never imagine that some day, I'd become a person who refuses sex at all. I wish it could change, but I'm just tired of trying anymore. If asked "If you could have sex with anyone, who would it be?", I can answer without hesitation "no one".

Is it something in me that is broken? Or am I just wired differently? Can anyone relate?