I become promiscuous when I drink

I’m not sure what has happend to me. I used to avoid drinking, then it became almost a regular part of my life due to my growing number of friends who all drink and party. We are all students so it makes sense why there is such a big emphasis on it.

I just got out of a really bad relationship of 4 years. I started having benders, drinking more often and flirting with so many people,…I hate myself for it…

I hooked up with someone I’m friends with last night, and I deeply deeply regret it. It was a mistake. A really really shitty mistake. I feel disgusted with myself.

I want to stop drinking, I feel the fear of missing out if I don’t… and everyone around me does, and they’re all having a good time, meanwhile I just overdo it constantly…. It helps me become more social, hold eye contact, helps me be happy and joyful without bottling things up. Helps me be open with my feelings. It really sucks that it turns me into someone I want to be, present and not tense all the time.

Ultimately, I despise that I’m flirty and promiscuous when I drink. It makes me feel deeply ashamed and disgusted with myself.