I feel stuck, like I have nothing to fight for and I'm just treading water

I'm 20m in college and I feel stuck. There's too much to do and not enough time. I've been burnt out all year but I simply can't afford to take a day off to just rest, there's always something to do. Currently I'm taking 15 credits working 10 hours a week at my 2 jobs and I'm an RA. Honestly I just can't keep up. I'm an animation student so th workload is insane and all dependent on me getting work done out of classes. I've been able to keep up but I'm terrified I'm gonna slip. Same can be said for all my other responsibilities. But falling isn't an option, so no matter how tired I am I have to keep going.

I really just don't know anymore. Recently all my friends applied and got into this study abroad trip to LA. There gonna go on a new adventure and make progress in life and I'm stuck on campus. I couldn't go because the logistics didn't make sense, but I feel like I don't take these opportunities. I don't do something out their or crazy. I just do what I can and even then it's never enough. Idk I have nothing to fight for and I get stuck in this loop of needing to leave but being tied down at every angle.

Honestly I sometimes get this urg to just run and not stop.

I want to be important or crazy or special. And yet no matter how hard I try I'm never enough. I feel like I have to constantly keep proving myself for confirmation that I exist.

Not to mention I'm so crushingly alone, but I'm too scared of making a scene and being labeled as creepy that I don't even make moves on people. I haven't been on a date in a full year, and even then I've never had a girl want to spend time with me.

Idk I'm such a loser. You add all this up and I sound so lame and pathetic. It's not like anything I do is important anyways. Everyone always downplays art majors and says "well you just draw pictures, how hard can it be" and I don't even bother arguing anymore.

Idk I wish I had drive or something or someone to fight for. But I'm stuck and I'm not going anywhere